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  “Charlie, chill, let’s go before somebody call the damn police on your ass,” Monae said, pulling me from off of old girl.

  I gave her one last punch to the face and I stood up.

  “You got to be the dumbest bitch in the world. What, you gone fight every bitch that done slept with your lying ass baby daddy? In case you forgot, you have a baby by a rapper and a rapper that slings dick around like it’s going out of style. Clearly that nigga don’t respect you because he sent you to the same bitch that just fucked him not even two weeks ago for you to come get your hair done. Birthmark right above his dick. Baby girl, that motha fucka is good, so I don’t blame you for acting up like this.” She smirked.

  I went into my pants pocket and threw her a hundred-dollar bill on the floor. I wasn’t about to give this hoe the satisfaction of calling me cheap because even though she didn’t finish my hair completely, she did wash it and gave it a deep conditioner. I walked out of the salon with my head held high, but boy was it all an act. I was hurt, angry, and embarrassed. I threw Monae the keys when we got outside and I told her to drive. As soon as she pulled out of the parking lot, I burst out crying.

  “I swear I got to be the dumbest bitch alive. What rapper is going to be committed to just one woman? You would think that the years I put in with this man would count for something! I was there when that nigga ain’t have nothing, and he turns around and shits on me! I never asked your brother for shit in my life, and in the end, I get his ass to kiss! Take me to my mama house so I can go get my baby. Don’t tell your stupid ass brother shit that went down. Fuck him, and I promise to God that I’m done with his ass.”

  Monae just drove as I continued to fuss. I know she probably wasn’t responding because she felt like I would take her brother back sometime tomorrow, but I swear to God that this was the last strike. He fucked up when he sent me to that bitch to have her do my hair. What’s so crazy to me is the fact that when I asked him the first time if he had fucked her, had he said yes, I wouldn’t have even tripped about it. It would have just saved me the humiliation and embarrassment because I wouldn’t have gone to her. But this was the unthinkable, and I couldn’t see myself forgiving him for this shit no time soon.

  Thirty minutes later, we pulled up to my mother’s condo. My mom stayed in a condo out in Hollywood, where she worked as a parole officer. My mother was 44 years old and she didn’t look a day over 25. She swore up and down that she was one of my homegirls, instead of my damn mama. Times like this when I was going through shit with Jaquan, I wished my daddy was still here so that he could fuck his ass up. I knew I couldn’t beat Jaquan’s ass, but I would certainly try because that’s how pissed off I was with his ass. I picked my hat up from off of the floor and put it back on my head. There was a small cut over my right eye, but this was nothing compared to those black eyes that Ma’kai’s ass was about to be blessed with.

  “I’m about to go get my baby. You staying in here or you coming inside?” I asked Monae since she was driving my car.

  “I’m coming inside. I got to use the bathroom,” she said and then she turned the car off.

  We both got out of the car, and a minute later, I was walking into my mother’s house with Monae right on my tail. My mom was sitting on the couch watching Love and Hip Hop while eating a bowl of soup.

  “Ma, where my baby? I’m about to bounce,” I said.

  There was no time for chit chat. I came to simply get my daughter so I could drop Monae off and then I would be laying low, only telling Toya where I would be because I knew Monae would tell her brother where I had disappeared to. I wouldn’t be far; I was just about to get a hotel room for the next few nights because I knew the first place Jaquan would come looking for me would be my condo.

  “And hello to your ass too! What the fuck is wrong with you, and why you coming in here all crunk? I thought y’all was going to get y’all hair done?” my mama asked. She set the bowl of food on the table in front of her.

  “Hey, Mama Queenie, tell her what happened, Mayweather. I’m about to go pee,” Monae said, trying to be funny.

  I shot her a look and then sat down on the couch next to my mama and told her everything that happened, starting off with his lying, deceitful ass giving me that bitch’s number. She was about to reply but my daughter came from around the corner.

  “Mommy! I thought you was going to get your hair done. Why you still walking around with this hat on?” my daughter said, scrunching her face up, looking exactly like a little me.

  I grabbed her and playfully tickled her. “Damn, you don’t like me wearing my hat?” I asked her.

  “I do, Mommy, but you look so much prettier when you have it long,” she said, referring to when I wore it parted down the middle and flat ironed.

  I laughed at her grown butt and stood up.

  “I’m about to go, Ma. I’ll call you once I get settled in and we’ll finish talking,” I said then walked over to her and placed a kiss on her cheek.

  After saying our goodbyes, we walked outside, and this time, I decided to drive. I put my baby in her booster seat and got in the driver’s seat then took off. I needed to Monae off back to her trifling ass brother’s house. I knew he would be at the studio or something, so I didn’t have to worry about running into him. We drove in silence the entire way because China was in the backseat knocked out. I pulled up to Jaquan’s house and parked.

  “So, where you about to go?” Monae asked me.

  “I wouldn’t dare tell you because all you going to do is run back and tell. When I get there, I’ll call you to let you know I’m safe,” I said.

  She sucked her teeth and got out the car. Monae knew it was true, though. Her ass couldn’t hold water when it came down to her brother, which is exactly why I wasn’t telling her shit.

  5:45 P.M

  With the new time change, it seemed later than it was. After going by my condo to pack China and my bags, I took my baby with me to the Dominicans and just let someone who was good do the both of our hair, which I should have done in the first place. Then none of this shit would have gone down today. We both got a blowout, although I rarely let my daughter wear her hair straight because it made her look grown. I kept her hair either in buns, braids, or ponytails. China’s hair was just as long as mine, and looking over at her, she was the spitting image of myself. After that, we went to get our nails done.

  I let my baby tire herself out, and now, here we are in a hotel suite at the Westin Diplomat on Hollywood beach. I had just finished bathing China and wrapping her hair, now she was in the King sized bed knocked out without a care in the world. She begged me to let her get in the pool, but I told her that we would go to the beach in the morning. Surprisingly, she didn’t question me on why we were staying in a hotel instead of at her daddy’s house like we normally do. I’m thankful for that because right now I didn’t have any answers to tell her. But what I do know is that any future that I thought Jaquan and I were going to have is now a dead issue. It became a dead issue the moment he sent me to get my hair done by a bitch he fucked in the past or a bitch that he is probably still fuckin’!

  I sat on my bed and thought about the day’s events. I realized that I had to leave this man alone before I fuck around and my ass be in jail for murder. Ma’kai was right about one thing, though, and that was that I can’t fight every bitch that he’s fucked, and I won’t! I am a beautiful woman and I shouldn’t have to go through shit like this with a man whom I loved and who claimed to love me. Love didn’t work like that. I would always brag about how I didn’t feel like the money and the fame had changed Jaquan when in fact it did. Jaquan treated me today like exactly what I am to him, which is nothing but his baby mama. I can’t understand for the life of me why he would lie to me about something so small and put me blindly in the presence of a bitch that he used to fuck with. Talk about disrespect!

  After taking my shower, I threw on a pair of black Sofie shorts with a pink tank top. I wrapped my hair up and turned the bat
hroom light off then went back to the bedroom area, turned the TV off, and climbed into bed with my daughter. She was the only good thing that came from my relationship with Jaquan. I lay in bed and stared at my daughter, telling myself that I had to be the woman I wanted her to be when she grew up. It wasn’t okay for a nigga to fuck you over and continue to run back to them. What type of example would I be setting for her? Anyways, I retrieved my phone from the nightstand and texted my girls and my mom, letting them know that I was safe and that I was getting ready to call it a night. I didn’t even wait for their response, I just set the phone down and pulled the covers over my body. Minutes later, I was knocked out.

  I awoke to the sound of my phone vibrating non-stop on the nightstand. I looked at the clock on the dresser and saw that it was 3:56 in the morning, so I knew that this wasn’t anyone but Jaquan calling to see where I was. He probably just brought his ass into the house and realized China and I wasn’t there and now his ass was going crazy. Well, he may as well get used to it because I wasn’t stepping foot back inside that house with his lying ass. The phone kept ringing and I didn’t want my baby to wake up, so I answered it, quietly got out of the bed and creeped into the bathroom. I turned the light on and then closed the door behind me.

  “Charlie, where the fuck you at? Why I have to come home and find out that you and my daughter wasn’t here and then I drive by your crib and your mama’s and you ain’t over there either. So, like I said, where the fuck are you?” he asked.

  I knew that he was pissed. He had his damn nerve to call me huffing and puffing when his ass ended up letting me get the shit embarrassed out of me today. I bet news already got around and bitches were calling me all kind of names.

  “You lost the privilege of asking me any fuckin’ thing unless it involves our daughter! You’re a nasty ass, lying ass nigga, and I fuckin’ hate your stupid ass!” I screamed and cried into the phone at the same time.

  My emotions were getting the best of me and I felt like a weak bitch! I was so fuckin’ sick and tired of crying over this man, and I really needed to get my emotions in check. The fact that I was still crying over him led me to believe that I still loved him and I still cared, which wasn’t a good thing. I wanted to be able to muster up the power to walk away from this man and just be able to co-parent when it comes to our daughter, but I don’t think that it’s going to work that way.

  “Charlie, what the fuck is you tripping about now? Damn, a nigga ain’t even do shit to your ass! I been in the studio all fuckin’ day!” he screamed into the phone.

  It still didn’t hit him that he sent me to a bitch that he used to have dealings with to get my hair done. I needed to hang up this phone because the fact that he was acting so blindly to this whole situation wasn’t doing anything but pissing me off.

  “When you find out the reason I left, you’ll understand why I’m no longer fuckin’ with you. I won’t be a bitch about the situation, though. I’ll drop China off to my mother’s in the morning and you can go get her from there,” I said and hung up the phone on him. I knew Jaquan, and I knew that he wouldn’t take well to me hanging up the phone in his face, which is why after I ended the phone call, I blocked his number.

  I walked out the bathroom and got back in the bed with my daughter. I lay here thinking about the past ten years of my life and the events that had led to this moment. I couldn’t help but feel lost. Jaquan was all I knew, really. Lord knows that I have loved this man ever since I was eight years old. How am I supposed to just be able to put all of those feelings to the side and move on to the next nigga? I know it may seem damn near impossible right now, but I couldn’t allow myself to be constantly disrespected by a man who I would go to the moon and back for. It was time to work on Charlie and do things that make Charlie happy, which starts with leaving fuck niggas like Jaquan alone and finding me a good ass nigga who will treat me right and wasn’t threatened by the fact that I had a child from one of the biggest rappers in the game.

  Chapter 6: Dre

  It was Monday night, going on 8:30, and I was about five minutes away from Toya’s office to finish signing up that paperwork that she had been telling me about the other night. I was supposed to have gotten there at six, but I was out in the city handling some loose ends and I lost track of time. Not to mention, there was a bad storm raging out here, but I couldn’t bitch out and not show up because she had already told me that the forms that I needed to finish signing were very important.

  I pulled into the parking garage of her building and parked my all black, 2016 BMW 7 series that I had just copped yesterday on the first floor of the building. After looking at myself in the mirror, I stepped out of the car, locking the door behind me. I was dressed for the rainy weather, wearing an all black Polo sweat suit, with a pair of Crestwick black and navy green boots. I was wearing my 10k Cuban link around my neck, with my golds in my mouth. Toya might not admit it, but I think she liked when a nigga wore his golds because the last time I saw her, she asked me why I didn’t have them in.

  After hearing my car chirp, indicating that it was locked, I walked over to the elevator and rode it all the way to the 15th floor like she had told me in the text message. After getting off the elevator, I made my way to her company’s suite. There wasn’t a receptionist sitting at the front desk, so I wondered if anyone was even still here. I spotted a janitor walking my way, pushing a cart, with all of his cleaning supplies in it. He had on a pair of headphones, so I had to wave my hand to get his attention.

  “Hey, man. Is Toya in her office?” I asked the dude.

  He looked like he was about in his late forties or maybe even early fifties. He was wearing navy blue overalls with a pair of black work shoes.

  “Yes, she’s back there, I believe. I think she might be the only one still here, she does that every night,” he told me.

  I nodded my head in the direction of her office. I knew which room number it was because she had sent it over earlier today in the text. I thought about something and then I quickly turned around to face the dude.

  “Ay, dude, quick question, what time does Toya generally leave out of here?” I asked him.

  “Normally that girl don’t leave out of here until about eleven o’clock at night. I swear, in my fifty-four years of being here on this earth, I’ve never seen someone as hard working and determined as her. They say she’s the best buyer’s agent in town, that’s because she’s busting her ass in that office every day, though,” he said, bragging about my future wife.

  What he said made me smile. “Good lucking out. I’m going to need a quick favor from you, though. I’ll be able to handle it tonight because I’m here, but any other night when you here, walk her to the car for me. It’s too late for her to be walking to that car at night by herself. I saw the bootlegged security this place hired, and his ass was up there knocked out when I drove past him. I know she going to probably tell you that she can handle it, but don’t take no for an answer because if something happens to her out there, I’m coming for you,” I said, dead ass serious.

  With a smirk on his face, he said, “You love that girl, don’t you?”

  A smile formed on my lips. “That girl is going to be my wife and carry all of my kids,” I said and then finally made my way to her office.

  Her door was closed, and I didn’t want to just barge in her shit, so I knocked. Had we have been in a relationship, I would have just walked my ass in on her. But, I didn’t want to overstep my boundaries with her, so I did the right thing for now and knocked.

  “Come in,” I heard her call out.

  I walked into her office and stood by the door, just taking in the sight before my eyes. I looked around and admired all of her awards that she had in plaques on her wall. Damn, I had an undercover nerd on my hand, I thought as I looked at her high school valedictorian plaque along with her master of business degree. I swear that shit was sexier than standing in front of a bitch butt naked with nothing on but a pair of Christian Louboutin pumps.
I never say shit like this, but this woman was perfect. The fact that she had her own was a bonus.

  “Clearly, you have a problem with being on time because I told you to get here at 6,” she said, typing away on her apple desktop, never once looking up at me.

  I smirked went to sit down in the chair in front of her desk. She stood up, walked over to her file cabinet and searched through the folders until she found the one that she was looking for. I stared at her in a trance as she held so much confidence in her walk and her posture. Every time I came in contact with Toya, she was always dressed to kill. Right now, she was wearing a green high waist skirt that stopped in the middle of her thighs, with a silk, crème colored shirt tucked in. The crème blazer that she wore with the outfit lay on the arm of the chair next to me. She wore her hair down, stopping above her ass, with a pair of gold Giuseppe Zanotti pumps on her feet.

  “Here it is,” I heard her say.

  At the same time, thunder roared outside followed by a big flash of lightning. The lights in the room went off for a few seconds and then they came back on. She glanced at me and then walked over and sat in the chair next to me with the folder in her hands. I spread my legs a little and held out both of my hands. I decided to try my luck with her.

  “You know, you can always sit right here on my lap if you want. I promise I won’t bite,” I said.

  She smirked at me before waving me off.

  “Here, I just need you to sign these two and then that’s it,” she said.

  I signed the two forms that read Warranty Deed and HUD-1 Settlement Statement.

  “Hey, Ms. Toya. Sorry to bother you but the elevator is stuck on the 20th floor and it looks like it going to be a while before we can get it down. I already called the people, but they say that they won’t be able to get here until the next hour or so,” the janitor whom I was talking to earlier said.